Ballad of the BDSbyterians

This entry is part 10 of 11 in the series Presbyterian Church 2014

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Sorry for the delay, for those of you who can’t get enough of manic song lyrics regarding obscure situations.  (Actually, it took some time to tone down what I started to write.)

Anyway, in the spirit of the new BDSbyterian label I mentioned last time, I present a humble little ballad, sung to the tune (for the most part) of Modern Major General from Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance.

The Ballad of the BDSbyterians

I am the very model of a BDSbyterian
I’m open to all points of view (especially if they’re Syrian)
Don’t bother me if you’re a Kurd, Tibetan or Nigerian
I am the very model of a BDSbyterian
 
Don’t talk to him if you’re a Kurd, Tibetan or Nigerian
Because he is the model of a BDSbyterian
 
I’m also well acquainted too with Judith Buter’s fond advice,
I understand facts fed to me by Hezbollah and Mondoweiss
I’ll happily toe Barghouti’s line regarding stocks the Church should ban
Because I am the model of a BDSbyterian
 
He’ll do whatever Omar says, yet claim to be a thinking man
That shows he is the model of a BDSbyterian
 
I also am the model of a terrorist apologist
My power for projecting guilt would stun a trained psychologist
How could this be? I do not know!  Go ask an anthropologist
I am the very model of a terrorist apologist
 
How could he warp his conscience so?  Go ask a trained psychologist
I guess it’s cause he’s made himself a terrorist apologist
 
I wipe my mind of what they do to Jew or homosexual
By leveraging the force of all my powers intellectual
Hamas missiles bore me so, I’ve not regard for where they land
Because I am the model of a BDSbyterian
 
Once rockets launch he has no care for whom they hit or where they land
Because he is the model of a BDSbyterian
 
One last point which proves that I’m a BDSbyterian
The Church must do my bidding or I’ll simply make them vote again
Divestment voted down five times is just a speedbump to my plan
And that’s why I’m the model of a BDSbyterian
 
He’ll make them vote a hundred times, or more because he know he can
And that’s why he’s the model of a BDSbyterian
 
My self-regard is buttressed by inflated moral vanity
My ego soaring while ignoring crimes against humanity
So IPMN writes pamphlets that are high-fived by the Ku Klux Klan
That’s not my problem cause I’m just a BDSbyterian
 
So what if David Duke is now his own committee’s biggest fan?
He doesn’t care because he is a BDSbyterian
 
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9 Responses to Ballad of the BDSbyterians

  1. anon March 26, 2014 at 7:46 pm #

    As a huge Gilbert & Sullivan fan I have to say you captured the essence of both the original lyrics and their modern subject.

    4 Stars ****

  2. Andy Barak March 27, 2014 at 10:44 am #

    Absolutely brilliant.
    Thank you for speaking for so many of us.

  3. Jill Schaeffer March 27, 2014 at 1:23 pm #

    Perfectly on target. Funny, appropriate. Excellent.

  4. F Callen March 27, 2014 at 7:23 pm #

    Superb but shouldn’t there be a “vote” in this line:

    He’ll make them VOTE a hundred time, or more because he know he can

    (and “time” should have an “s”)

    • DivestThis March 27, 2014 at 8:17 pm #

      Fixed! Thanks.

  5. Dan March 27, 2014 at 8:24 pm #

    Note Perfect! Brilliant!!!

  6. Barbara Mazor March 28, 2014 at 2:17 am #

    It is just so brilliant! It must be made into a video.

  7. Barbara Mazor March 28, 2014 at 2:31 am #

    But why no verse about food coops?

  8. Lynne T March 28, 2014 at 12:02 pm #

    Well done. Hope it gets performed on youtube by some talented performers and goes viral.

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